Chapter no 34
chapter 34 my favorite ritual: closing duties remember when you did the exercise of being kind to little you? Well, now I am going to talk more about being kind to future you. Anyone who has worked in the service industry is familiar with opening and closing duties. Servers and bartenders have “side duties” in […]
Chapter no 33
chapter 33 gentle skill building: maintaining a space a simple plan to keep a space livable is better than an overwhelming plan to keep a space perfect. One of the easiest ways to do this is to look at one space in your home you would like to keep livable. Perhaps this is your bedroom […]
Chapter no 32
chapter 32 rhythms over routines dr. Lesley Cook, a brilliant psychologist who works with ADHD, once said to me, “Forget about creating a routine. You have to focus on finding your rhythm.” With routines you are either on track or not. With rhythm you can skip a beat and still get back in the groove. […]
Chapter no 31
chapter 31 critical family members even as we become comfortable giving ourselves kindness and compassion in the midst of struggle, we often still have to contend with friends or family members who are at different parts of the journey of moral neutrality. How do we respond when someone criticizes the state of our home or […]
Chapter no 30
chapter 30 cleaning and parental trauma “my dad used to come home late at night and if the house wasn’t spotless he would wake us up screaming and make us clean in the middle of the night. I was always so tired the next day at school.” “My mother would lock me in my room […]
Chapter no 29
chapter 29 contributing is morally neutral when you experience legitimate barriers to completing care tasks while living in a partnership with someone else, you may experience guilt. Even those who have understanding partners experience this from time to time. Let’s explore what is morally neutral about contributing to a family. I believe the moral gut […]
Chapter no 28
chapter 28 when your body doesn’t cooperate sometimes the barrier to getting care tasks done isn’t your mind but your body. Your mind wants to, but your body feels like it has sand sacks for legs. Maybe it’s because you were up all night. Maybe it’s chronic illness or pain or pregnancy. Maybe you’re going […]
Chapter no 27
chapter 27 gentle skill building: a system for keeping your car clean i dunno, friends. My car looks like shit. I don’t have this one figured out. I may never have this one figured out. That’s okay too. I honestly stopped putting much effort into trying. This journey isn’t about some mythical destination where everything […]
Chapter no 26
chapter 26 gentle skill building: bathrooms there are seasons of life when the goal of cleaning is to figure out how to get the most amount of function from the least amount of energy. There is a finite amount of energy and hours in the day, and I guess you could spend that time taking […]
Chapter no 25
chapter 25 division of labor: the rest should be fair one major burden when it comes to care tasks is dealing with an uneven division of labor in the home between partners. I do not have time to do justice to a complete evaluation of this very valid struggle here. I can, however, offer you […]