Seventy-Nine
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Cameron
T he walk away from Samkiel’s home was quiet. We all planned to go
back tonight and pack before heading to Onuna. Logan and Neverra
walked arm-in-arm in front of us. They stopped on the path, chatting with Imogen, their laughter carrying on the flower-scented breeze. Imogen kissed Neverra’s cheek and hugged Logan. I heard her tell them goodnight before she shot into the sky, her light the first to go.
“Well, that was fun,” Vincent said from behind Xavier and me. I just nodded, my hands in my pockets as Xavier and I walked toward the end of the bridge.
“Yeah, Xavier and I had a bet on when she would make you cry.
Although I didn’t see a tear, it was damn near close to you pissing your pants,” I said, tossing a taunting look over my shoulder at him. Vincent sneered but didn’t say anything.
Xavier laughed as he tossed the coin he’d won from me into the air.
“I’m glad you two can find humor in this. It still only proves my point.
She is volatile,” Vincent said, his voice harsh.
I shrugged. “I had fun even if the dinner took a turn.” It was an understatement. My chest still ached at Samkiel’s words. The Hand was no longer needed. I shook my head, clearing it. “You were quieter than normal, Vin.”
“What am I supposed to say? Congratulations on not being a dick like the other gods? Thanks for giving us our freedom? Samkiel never kept us like pets, but this felt different, more permanent.”
Xavier grunted in agreement. “Yeah, it did.”
The three of us stopped at the end of the bridge. The breeze died down, and the trees went quiet.
“I mean, that’s the plan. If Kaden is dead, there are no more big bad monsters to fight. No more worlds in danger of being destroyed. Dianna leveled the Otherworldly playing field, killing almost all of his lackeys.
What else is there?”
Vincent glanced back at the palace. “There are always more monsters to face.”
I snorted. “You really have a hard-on for her, don’t you?”
Vincent’s head whipped toward me as Xavier muffled a laugh.
“Absolutely not, but she is still Kaden’s blood, which means her powers are only dormant. Not gone. What happens if she truly unleashes, huh?”
“Vincent,” Xavier said, reaching out and gripping his shoulder. “She isn’t Nismera.”
Vincent glanced at Xavier’s hand before shaking it off, his face twisting with the normal angry expression that we all knew so well. “You know what I mean. Even with Kaden gone, there will always be one monster left.”
Xavier didn’t back down, either. “Yeah, and if that happens, which I doubt since she could have killed us all after her sister died, Samkiel can handle her.”
I scratched my ear, glancing back at the palace. “And from the sounds coming from the palace right now, I think he has already started.”
Vincent’s lip curled in disgust, cobalt lines flaring across his body.
“Whatever.” He took to the night sky in a gleam of light, leaving Xavier and me alone.
“I still think he has a hard-on for her.”
Xavier chuckled, placing his hands in his pocket once more. “I think he is overprotective of us all and doesn’t trust her, which makes sense. Even without her powers, she is terrifying.”
I shrugged. “Well, he won’t have to worry about it much longer. It seems we are all going our separate ways.”
I waited for Xavier to take my bait, to proclaim they may all leave, but we would stay the same. My chest had felt tight from the moment we’d arrived. I smelled the tension long before I stepped into the palace, and I knew I wouldn’t like it, and I didn’t. I had never imagined that we would
not be together forever. It seemed I was wrong that we would stick through everything.
“Speaking of that. I need to talk to you.”
Xavier’s tone caught my attention, and I stood a bit straighter, no longer slouching against the bridge railing. “Talk to me? About Elianna? Listen—”
“No, well, yes, but not really.”
He looked at his feet and rubbed his brow. Was he nervous? Mad? My heart quickened. Or was it something else? Something we had both avoided addressing. I knew it had to do with Elianna, but like every other sexual relationship I’d had, it wasn’t serious.
“Xavi. What is it?”
Xavier took his hand out of his pocket, and I froze. He had been shifty all night, even sitting away from me at dinner, and now I knew why. He pulled out a ring and put it on his finger. My heart stopped. Regardless of if I wanted it to or not, it did. He rubbed a finger over the simple gold band.
“He asked me to marry him. Proposed, as the mortals say, a few weeks
ago.”
“Weeks?”
“I was unsure at first and didn’t immediately say yes, but… Don’t look at me like that. I haven’t told anyone. I wanted to tonight, but after Logan and Neverra’s big announcement, followed by Samkiel’s, I didn’t think it was the right time, and honestly, I just wanted to tell you first.” He fiddled with the gold band. “I tell you everything.”
I couldn’t speak or move, unable to tear my gaze from that ring. It mocked me.
“I said yes. I feel like, more now than ever, it’s time for a fresh start. He is good to me, and I want a life, too, you know?”
I felt as if I was no longer in my body, blood pounding in my ears so loudly that it took a moment for what he said to register.
“You’re joking, right?” I snapped.
Xavier looked up, shocked. “What?”
“That’s—” I started and stopped. “Do you even truly know him? I mean, you guys haven’t been together that long. I didn’t think it was that serious.”
Xavier’s eyes narrowed, pain flashing across his features. “Wow, you mean like you and Elianna?”
I couldn’t stop the words coming from my mouth. “That’s what this is?
You say yes because of a tryst?”
The pain disappeared, replaced by anger, and then his face went cold, all emotion locked away. “A tryst? Like all the ones you’ve had for centuries?
It’s always another girl, another guy, another being.” It was the first time Xavier had ever snapped at me. The first time since we had met, become friends, or whatever we were. “You do this now? After everything, you
want to confess something now?”
“Xavi—”
“Don’t call me that. This is bullshit. You’ve been fucking Elianna and kept it from me when you tell me everything.”
“Oh, come on, that means nothing.”
“It meant something if you hid it. You knew my feelings and did nothing, or actually, you did everything but what you should have.”
“That’s not fair.”
Everything seemed to come rushing to the surface. Every emotion and feeling we had kept hidden bubbled up, threatening to consume us.
“How is it not?”
“Because you’re in a relationship, remember?”
“Yeah, I am. After how long, Cam?” He stopped and shook his head.
“You know what? I am happy with him. He’s nice and kind.”
I tossed my hands up, rolling my eyes so hard I was afraid they would lock in my fucking skull. “Oh, bullshit. Any decent person should have those traits.”
“And he chooses me,” he snapped. “He has, and you know you have had years and years to tell me, to speak up, or to say something. You didn’t.”
He stopped pacing and raised a hand to his mouth. My heart hammered in my chest. How could I tell him I was terrified because of this, this exact moment? One where either he would reject me or I’d lose him forever because of what I did.
“I’m sorry.” Even as I said the words, I knew they weren’t the right ones. He dropped his hand from his face, and that’s when I saw the shine of tears in his dark eyes.
“You knew I was waiting for you. I waited for you to even notice me like that, and when you didn’t make a move, I respected your decision and what you could give me. I accepted you didn’t want me. Now I’m with
someone who wants to be with me. He isn’t afraid to tell me he loves me or that he wants a future with me. He fights for me.”
It felt like he’d slapped me.
“Like I don’t?” He was silent, too damn silent, as he ran a hand down his face. “Are you in love with him?” I asked.
“What?”
“Are you marrying him because you’re in love with him, or are you
settling?”
“Oh, fuck off, Cameron.”
“Are you in love with him?” I shouted, emotion out, ruling me harder than any storm Samkiel could conjure. My heart broke when he didn’t answer. He stared at me. Please, my heart begged, it cried, it screamed.
Please don’t be in love with him. Please.
“It doesn’t matter.” He dropped his gaze from mine. “It’s too late. I am happy, and I am going to marry him. You had every opportunity over the centuries we’ve known each other, and I will not break someone’s heart because you finally decided to speak up. It’s not fair.”
My shoulders slumped. I have been stabbed, damn near dismembered, and swallowed whole, but nothing hurt as much as those words. My chest felt like it had caved in on itself. Maybe he was right. I’d waited too long, my own insecurities eating away at me. What if it wasn’t real for us? What if I messed it up like I had so many other things in my life? What if we weren’t even amata, and I just kept him from the one he truly needed?
Athos, like every other god and goddess, had said love made you weak and caused you to lose focus. What if they were right?
“You’re right,” I said as I lied and lied and lied.
Xavier looked at me as if I’d just shattered something in him too, but he only nodded before shooting into the sky and out of my life.
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